Beware Dating Dangers Ahead!
Every day, intelligent, accomplished women make incredibly foolish and irresponsible choices in men. They believe everything they hear and nearly everything they don't see, flying flind in bad weather under very hazardous conditions. They become the inadequate males' best supporter rallying to his defense against both friend and foe alike. They dispense reason and rationale with the effortless bedside manner of a clinic doctor with too many patients.
They refuse to see the proverbial forest through the trees and they forge ahead defiantly defending their "hero." More often than not, the hero is really a frog. A fraud in princely trappings who if examined even a little more closely might have been exposed early on.
Too many women want so desperately to believe. They want so much to be correct in their assessment that they have at last found "the one" that they fail the first preliminary exam. Be alert to the signs. Examine new people closely and above all listen to what they say. Most women just pay lip service to the term listening. Men say what you want to hear but if you listen closely you can "read" between the lines. Watch their behavior and that will tell you volumes. I have coined the phrase, LALA which simply means Look, Ask, Listen, Ask. As women we don't do that enough.
If you never remember anything else, remember this when and if you decide that you cannot live without THIS married man. They never leave. Although never is a strong and seemingly undeviating position, it is more often than not absolute. Know that many women find married men attractive because it keeps them safe. You would be safer swimming naked in a pool filled w ith man eating sharks. If you want real safety, stay home alone.
More dating dangers will follow in the weeks ahead so stay tuned and if you want more than read The Dating Dance, Confessions of the Spider and the Fly, available now in paperback from Amazon.com and on Kindle for an easy and fast download. No more waiting just one click does it all!
More Dating Dangers!
Beware of falling men! Better yet, beware of women who fall too quickly. Don't let your desire to have a relationship make you fall for the first guy who uses the terms "we" and "us" too quickly. This is a potential trap and could mean you are in for a ride on the terror train to nowhere.
Men will say and do anything to get laid. That means they will even morph into a gay man if it makes you feel more comfortable and off guard so that they can get you into bed.
What you do with your life and your relationships is up to you bright and beautiful woman that you are...but, make sure that you are asking for what you what and not accepting what you don't want. If what you want is a relationship that has some hope of permanence than you don't want some guy who is in the mood to get laid and will tell you what you want to hear to get there. The movie Magnolia with Tom Cruise was based on a true story about such a guy. His life's work was getting women into bed by saying anything and being anyone.
If Broken Hearted Melody is your theme song and you get some sort of special thrill from having pains in your stomach that scream what did you do, then by all means listen to the cache of stories that this new man is plying you with and jump into bed on the sound of the first "we". But if you are tired of those times and want to have a chance at finding the right and perfect man then use the LALA approach. That means Look, Ask, Listen, Ask. Stop hearing what you want to hear and listen to what the person is really saying to you. If you do that it will be easy to eliminate Mr. Wrong from Mr. Right.
Most women judge the book by its cover. He looks like a Prince, talks like a Prince, so he must be a Prince. But perhaps he is merely a toad in Princely trappings. A one stop rent-a-life guy who goes back to a wife and kids or to his rented apartment on the other side of the tracks. In today's world anyone can make themselves into someone else.
Keep in mind you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a Prince, but if you keep thinking the frog is a Prince underneath that slimy green exterior, you may never find Mr. Right. Stop the kissing and start the listening...it will be much more revealing.
Buyer Beware!
I hear it all the time. Women telling me about the new man that they met last weekend and how much into her he is. She is just waiting for him to call her. He wants her to accompany him to Europe in a couple of weeks and he just couldn't keep his hands off of her.
It was electric what they were feeling unlike anything she had ever experienced before. They were just glued to one another at the cocktail party for Dudley Doright on Saturday night and could I believe that they went to the same highschool...imagine that!
She then drones on about how wonderful he is, tall, goodlooking, charming and very much a communicator. I ask has Mr. Wonderful been married but she doesn't really know. Has he been in any relationships for more than a week...again I get the blank stare. So what did she find out during this incredible pairing of souls that lasted a full 4 hours of cocktail party conversation? He drinks vodka straight up with a few ice cubes and he went to Portola High School either before or after she did.
Anything else? Sadly no. While she was lapping up the pseudo attention being lavished on her by this person and enjoying the words we and us and let's she was avoiding doing the very thing that would have given her much needed answers and let her know whether this man was a real contender for her heart.
Yes you were glued together for the entire evening and he did take your telephone number. As a matter of fact he took it twice on the back of a cocktail napkin that by the time he reached the car could have ended up in the gutter. He said he wanted to take you to dinner, soon. He would call you, soon.
Did he call? Not yet is usually the reply I have come to expect. But you argue, he cries at sad movies and we had so much in common. Surely he will call...maybe he lost my number. But he didn't call and a month from that night he still hadn't called.
You revisit the evening constantly, every word you uttered every glance you glanced everything he said and didn't say. You dissect every sentence and your inflection. It "seemed"so perfect.
You ferret out his business card, and call the office. Voice Mail answers and in your most seductive and interesting voice you leave your very rehearsed message.
The saddest part about all of this is that you are the one feeling badly and you did nothing. If and when he finally does call he will no doubt have a litany of excuses all of which prevent him from seeing you anytime soon.
Stop torturing yourself! You did nothing wrong and the evening could have been sheer perfection...for you. The conversation may have flowed like water...for you. The dynamics of your personality and his may have been incredible...for you. YOu may have had everything in common and nothing. Once this man of many faces is out of your presence you have no idea what he was thinking or doing. Perhaps you were just an interesting diversion from his normal day to day existence.
Just remember this, the men that you meet at parties and events should be looked at as actors vying for a part in your play called life. They will do and say anything to get that part. So just view your evenings in a more analytical manner and don't be so overwhelmed with emotion when you meet someone. Listen to what they are really saying and above all ask questions and listen to the answers that they give not what you want to hear. There is a difference.